Conversations About Dead People, Ch.18
Mar. 12th, 2011 04:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caty_did I know it's been forever since I posted a new chapter, but I was having some issues over on FF, and I didn't want to post here until I could post in both places. But it's here now! Chapter 18 of Conversations!
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Sunnydale, September 2001
If there was one thing Dawn had come to count on in the past four and a half months, it was that Anya would tell her the truth. It wasn’t that the others wouldn’t, but there were times that she knew they were lying to spare her feelings. Or their own. But Anya usually saw no merit in lying. It wouldn’t make Buffy any less dead, and Dawn usually saw through the lie anyway. Of course, she’d never though to ask if they were planning a resurrection.
So now that Dawn had questions, she knew exactly where she was going for answers.
“Anya?”
She was standing in front of the refrigerator, but at the sound of Dawn’s voice she jumped and turned around.
“Dawn! I was just getting some orange juice. Willow said it was okay.”
Dawn resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and pulled two glasses out of the dishwasher. “It’s fine. Pour me some too, while you have it out.”
Anya nodded absent-mindedly. “We saved you some pancakes and bacon. They’re on that plate over there if you want any.”
“Maybe later.” She picked up the juice Anya slid across the island. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Is, um, is Buffy-“
“She’s still asleep. Probably will be for a while. Jetlag from hell and all that.”
Anya shifted uncomfortably. “Right. So I should go…” She gestured to window and the meeting that was clearly taking place in the backyard.
“Wait! Please.”
Anya froze, her hand on the doorknob.
“I wanted to ask you something.”
She turned around, but she wouldn’t meet Dawn’s eyes. “I told you. Food’s on the plate next to the stove. Okay, bye!”
“Anya!”
She bit her lip and pulled her gaze from the ground. “What?”
“Why didn’t you guys tell me? About bringing her back?”
Anya still refused to look at her. “Shouldn’t you ask Willow about this? It was all her idea.”
Dawn addressed her orange juice. “I know what the others will tell me. I just- I need to know that it’s true. And you don’t lie very often.”
She seemed to soften, just a bit. “Well that’s true.” She walked back to the island and leaned on her elbows, across from Dawn.
“We didn’t tell you, because we didn’t want to get your hopes up. How would you have felt if we told you we might be able to get your sister back, and then said ‘oops. We were wrong. She’ll have to stay dead?’”
Dawn sighed, then begrudgingly admitted, “That would have sucked.”
Anya nodded. “See? This way you just got to be happy. Not all nervous like the rest of us. Much better.”
The ghost a grin flitted across Dawn’s face, before she fell serious once more. “Is that why you didn’t tell Giles? I mean, if he’d known he wouldn’t have left, so you must not have told him.”
“No. We didn’t tell him. I assume someone has by now, though.”
Dawn nodded her affirmation. “Willow called him last night. So is that why? Because you didn’t want to get his hopes up?”
“Partially. Also, Willow said he might not understand. He might try to stop us.”
Dawn frowned. That was… weird. “Did she say why?”
“No. But we were kind of following her lead. She was the one who really knew what to do with the magic and stuff. She’s been very bossy.”
“Right. I saw the sign.”
“She seemed to take it heart.”
Dawn chuckled. “Uh-huh.”
Anya stood up and carried her now empty glass of juice to the sink. “Is that it? Because I should be getting back to the meeting.”
Dawn took a deep breath. She shouldn’t ask. She really, really shouldn’t. “Why didn’t you tell Spike?”
Anya stiffened at the sink. Dawn kept speaking. “He wouldn’t have tried to stop you. He probably would have helped. You know he helped me try to resurrect mom. And he loved Buffy just as much as we do.
“I heard him last night. Talking to Xander. Saying that-“ she shuddered slightly. “That Willow thought she might come back wrong. Was that really why you didn’t tell him?”
Anya had turned and was leaning against the sink with her arms crossed. “That was a factor, yes. We though that if anything went wrong with the spell, we could just, you know, take care of it before anyone else saw her. But Willow said that if Spike were there, he wouldn’t let us do that. And I, for one, think she was right. He would have stopped us; even she was some horrible sort of zombie thing. Love does funny things to people. And vampires.”
Dawn squeezed her eyes shut. The idea of Buffy coming back wrong and having to be “dealt with” was too terrible to consider.
“What was the other part?”
Anya shrugged. “We only needed four people for the spell. It seemed rather silly to involve any more than that. And you know as well as I do, Xander and Willow don’t trust Spike. I don’t care one way or another about him, but they really don’t like him. I think probably because of all those times he almost killed them.”
Dawn’s brow wrinkled. “You didn’t tell him because you guys don’t trust him?”
“Is that not a good enough reason?”
Dawn looked back down at her glass. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you just didn’t want to disappoint him. Like with me.”
Anya glanced over her shoulder at the window, then quickly stepped back across the kitchen and leaned conspiratorially towards Dawn.
“Don’t tell the other’s I told you this.”
Dawn perked up at the idea of a secret.
“We never really said it out loud, and I know that Xander would be really embarrassed if anyone found out, but I think we were all thinking it.”
“Thinking what?”
“That if we told him we could bring her back, and then we didn’t, it would destroy him. You saw him this summer. He was a mess.”
Dawn thought back to May, and all the times Spike showed up at her house with bloodshot eyes. To June, when she’d gone to his crypt in the middle of the afternoon and found him drunk and crying. To last night, and the look in his eyes when he saw Buffy on the stairs.
“Yeah. It would have.”
Anya shrugged again. “It seemed unnecessarily cruel.”
Dawn looked up into Anya’s face, eyes shining. “I’m glad you did it. Brought her back. Spike’s glad too. And Giles.”
Anya looked uncomfortable. “Yes. We’re all very pleased. Is it alright if I go back out now?”
“Yeah. Thanks for talking to me.”
Anya reached across the island and patted Dawn on the head. “You’re welcome. When Buffy wakes up, tell her we’re outside.”
xxxxxxxxxx
Sunnydale, September 2001
If there was one thing Dawn had come to count on in the past four and a half months, it was that Anya would tell her the truth. It wasn’t that the others wouldn’t, but there were times that she knew they were lying to spare her feelings. Or their own. But Anya usually saw no merit in lying. It wouldn’t make Buffy any less dead, and Dawn usually saw through the lie anyway. Of course, she’d never though to ask if they were planning a resurrection.
So now that Dawn had questions, she knew exactly where she was going for answers.
“Anya?”
She was standing in front of the refrigerator, but at the sound of Dawn’s voice she jumped and turned around.
“Dawn! I was just getting some orange juice. Willow said it was okay.”
Dawn resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and pulled two glasses out of the dishwasher. “It’s fine. Pour me some too, while you have it out.”
Anya nodded absent-mindedly. “We saved you some pancakes and bacon. They’re on that plate over there if you want any.”
“Maybe later.” She picked up the juice Anya slid across the island. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Is, um, is Buffy-“
“She’s still asleep. Probably will be for a while. Jetlag from hell and all that.”
Anya shifted uncomfortably. “Right. So I should go…” She gestured to window and the meeting that was clearly taking place in the backyard.
“Wait! Please.”
Anya froze, her hand on the doorknob.
“I wanted to ask you something.”
She turned around, but she wouldn’t meet Dawn’s eyes. “I told you. Food’s on the plate next to the stove. Okay, bye!”
“Anya!”
She bit her lip and pulled her gaze from the ground. “What?”
“Why didn’t you guys tell me? About bringing her back?”
Anya still refused to look at her. “Shouldn’t you ask Willow about this? It was all her idea.”
Dawn addressed her orange juice. “I know what the others will tell me. I just- I need to know that it’s true. And you don’t lie very often.”
She seemed to soften, just a bit. “Well that’s true.” She walked back to the island and leaned on her elbows, across from Dawn.
“We didn’t tell you, because we didn’t want to get your hopes up. How would you have felt if we told you we might be able to get your sister back, and then said ‘oops. We were wrong. She’ll have to stay dead?’”
Dawn sighed, then begrudgingly admitted, “That would have sucked.”
Anya nodded. “See? This way you just got to be happy. Not all nervous like the rest of us. Much better.”
The ghost a grin flitted across Dawn’s face, before she fell serious once more. “Is that why you didn’t tell Giles? I mean, if he’d known he wouldn’t have left, so you must not have told him.”
“No. We didn’t tell him. I assume someone has by now, though.”
Dawn nodded her affirmation. “Willow called him last night. So is that why? Because you didn’t want to get his hopes up?”
“Partially. Also, Willow said he might not understand. He might try to stop us.”
Dawn frowned. That was… weird. “Did she say why?”
“No. But we were kind of following her lead. She was the one who really knew what to do with the magic and stuff. She’s been very bossy.”
“Right. I saw the sign.”
“She seemed to take it heart.”
Dawn chuckled. “Uh-huh.”
Anya stood up and carried her now empty glass of juice to the sink. “Is that it? Because I should be getting back to the meeting.”
Dawn took a deep breath. She shouldn’t ask. She really, really shouldn’t. “Why didn’t you tell Spike?”
Anya stiffened at the sink. Dawn kept speaking. “He wouldn’t have tried to stop you. He probably would have helped. You know he helped me try to resurrect mom. And he loved Buffy just as much as we do.
“I heard him last night. Talking to Xander. Saying that-“ she shuddered slightly. “That Willow thought she might come back wrong. Was that really why you didn’t tell him?”
Anya had turned and was leaning against the sink with her arms crossed. “That was a factor, yes. We though that if anything went wrong with the spell, we could just, you know, take care of it before anyone else saw her. But Willow said that if Spike were there, he wouldn’t let us do that. And I, for one, think she was right. He would have stopped us; even she was some horrible sort of zombie thing. Love does funny things to people. And vampires.”
Dawn squeezed her eyes shut. The idea of Buffy coming back wrong and having to be “dealt with” was too terrible to consider.
“What was the other part?”
Anya shrugged. “We only needed four people for the spell. It seemed rather silly to involve any more than that. And you know as well as I do, Xander and Willow don’t trust Spike. I don’t care one way or another about him, but they really don’t like him. I think probably because of all those times he almost killed them.”
Dawn’s brow wrinkled. “You didn’t tell him because you guys don’t trust him?”
“Is that not a good enough reason?”
Dawn looked back down at her glass. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you just didn’t want to disappoint him. Like with me.”
Anya glanced over her shoulder at the window, then quickly stepped back across the kitchen and leaned conspiratorially towards Dawn.
“Don’t tell the other’s I told you this.”
Dawn perked up at the idea of a secret.
“We never really said it out loud, and I know that Xander would be really embarrassed if anyone found out, but I think we were all thinking it.”
“Thinking what?”
“That if we told him we could bring her back, and then we didn’t, it would destroy him. You saw him this summer. He was a mess.”
Dawn thought back to May, and all the times Spike showed up at her house with bloodshot eyes. To June, when she’d gone to his crypt in the middle of the afternoon and found him drunk and crying. To last night, and the look in his eyes when he saw Buffy on the stairs.
“Yeah. It would have.”
Anya shrugged again. “It seemed unnecessarily cruel.”
Dawn looked up into Anya’s face, eyes shining. “I’m glad you did it. Brought her back. Spike’s glad too. And Giles.”
Anya looked uncomfortable. “Yes. We’re all very pleased. Is it alright if I go back out now?”
“Yeah. Thanks for talking to me.”
Anya reached across the island and patted Dawn on the head. “You’re welcome. When Buffy wakes up, tell her we’re outside.”
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-13 06:47 am (UTC)I like this little moment. It feels real; nicely done. And of course Anya would pat Dawn on the head.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 07:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-31 07:18 am (UTC)These scenes that you wrote, these are what fanfic is for!
They were wonderful and I thank you. I enjoyed them all very much.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-31 02:14 pm (UTC)